Award and Husband

[請 scroll down 看中文版]

Reading my colleague Film Editor Clarence Tsui's interesting take on the role of Hong Kong Film Awards (Special effects, Sunday Review, P.8, April 17, 2011) and coverage of SCMP's win at the Human Rights Press Awards in this week's Sunday Morning Post (April 17, 2011) reminds me of a conversation that I had with a veteran journo a while ago:

"It's about time for you to write articles that will win you some awards," the journo said. "I know you are not into the game but this is how things work in this industry. Just treat it as the annual year-end local music awards like TVB's Jade Solid Gold Awards -- they are kind of pointless but still, it's an award."

I so wanted to defend myself at that moment. It's not like I never won anything: I was selected by the Berlin International Film Festival's Talent Campus organisers as one of the 11 best young film critics and journalists from around the world to attend the inaugural Berlinale Talent Press during the festival in 2004 -- and I'm still the only journalist from Hong Kong who has ever attended such an international creative summit for film/ culture journalists. It was not exactly an award, but definitely a recognition, and a much more meaningful experience.  

But I was told that it was not good enough. Recognition from one of the world's leading film festivals is apparently nothing compared winning an award at SOPA, Hong Kong News Awards or even some consumer news awards organised by the Consumer Council.  

This reminds of something a relative told me a while ago: "You know, you are not that young any more. It's time to think about marriage. You should find a husband." 

I'm not exactly a huge fan of participating in the awards game because I never believe an award is the parameter judging the quality of a journalist's work and professionalism. So does it mean that I'm not a good journo if I never won those so-called awards? Same for marriage -- Does it mean I'm a bad woman if I do not have a husband? What if I have a colourful love life? 

People around you like to judge you from their conventional perspective, and that's why we should keep telling ourselves that we are good -- we are the only ones who can judge ourselves if we are good. 

And P.S. Miriam, you did well in Love in a Puff, even though the trophy did not end up in your hands
___


今日讀到同事 Film Editor Clarence Tsui 於 <星期日南華早報> 有關香港電影金像獎的文章及陛報於人權新聞獎的得獎報導，我驟然想起某同事跟我說過的一番話：

"其實你要做一些可以奪獎的報導了。我明白你覺得那些獎都有點無聊，咪當參加無線勁歌金曲囉！這是這行的遊戲。"

當時我很想替自己辯護。說實的，我也不是甚麼都沒贏過，起碼於2004年我被柏林影展的 Talent Campus 從世界各地眾多參加者中挑選為其中十一位的年輕電影評論人及記者參加第一屆的 Talent Press，而到現時為止，我也是唯一一位參加過這活動的香港記者。雖然那不是一個真正的獎，但好歹都是一種 recognition，尤其是對香港的電影／文化記者。而那次經驗比拿一個獎更有意義。

但好明顯，這個來自世上其中一個最好的影展的 recognition 也比不上一些本地的小圈子頒獎禮。

這令我想起一位親戚跟我講過的一番話："你都唔細啦，係時候要結婚啦，快啲揾個人啦！"

沒有拿過那些所謂獎，是否代表我不是一個好記者？正如我沒有老公，是否代表我不是一個好女人？

很多人很喜歡用他們普遍的價值觀去 judge 我們的成就。所以我們應該常常提醒自己的價值，因為只有我們自己才最清楚自己有多好。


P.S. Miriam 你於<志明與春嬌>的表現是非常好的。縱然獎不在你的手中。